*eating at a very nice restaurant, one of my favorites*

Chef, standing next to our table: This is a roasted portobello mushroom served with buttered rice and crispy parma ham, and with a bit of white truff-

*GF tries*

GF: This tastes like microwave food.

*Invited my boss over, for dinner at my home*

Me: The next quarter is gonna be very interesting. Many positive changes are lined up.
Boss: Absolutely.

GF (bored): My period was late 2 months ago.
Boss: ?
Me: *wtf face*

GF: I thought that was interesting.

*on exchanging money on the sidewalk*

GF: I think that is muffin business.
Me: What?

GF: Chinese Muffin.
Me: You mean… Mafia?

GF: Yes. That.

GF: This Friday night is my friend’s birthday.

Me: Ah. Umm, is it ok if I stay home?

GF: Of course. You are not invited. They don’t like you.

*watching the Oscars ceremony*

GF: Wow, those actors look so beautiful. So perfect. It’s almost like they are fake.

Me: What about me.
GF: You are VERY real.

A visit to my Honest Chinese Girlfriend’s hometown.

Hello readers. :)

Recently we took some time off and went back to my girlfriend’s hometown. Here is a post I wrote on Medium, in case you’re wondering what our real life is like: Chinese traditions: Meeting your girlfriend’s family

Thanks to everyone for your support and love in this space.

More posts to come soon.

-M

*at her hometown during the Spring Festival*

Me: Babe, what is this?
GF: Meatballs

Me: They forgot the meat
GF: Oh. Then Riceballs

*My honest Bangkok Airways Check-in officer*

Girl at counter: Sorry, sir. You’re overweight.
Me: I know.

Girl at counter: I mean your bags.
Me: Oh.

*GF laughs hysterically*

Me: You eat it.
GF: You idiot.

Me: No, no. I mean you-eat-it.
GF: You—- idiot.

*sitting next to the cat bowl, staring at it*

GF: Do you think I can eat this cat food?
Me: Haha, no? Why?

GF: It smells like chicken. It’s just chicken, right?
Me: Did you eat it?

GF: Not yet.