Waiter brings the check and 8 small mint candies for me and my GF.
Me: He gave me 6 mints. Wtf?
GF: You look like you love sugar, it’s your fault.
*eating at a very nice restaurant, one of my favorites*Chef, standing next to our table: This is a roasted portobello mushroom served with buttered rice and crispy parma ham, and with a bit of white truff-
*GF tries*GF: This tastes like microwave food.
*Invited my boss over, for dinner at my home*Me: The next quarter is gonna be very interesting. Many positive changes are lined up.Boss: Absolutely.GF (bored): My period was late 2 months ago.Boss: ?Me: *wtf face*
GF: I thought that was interesting.
*on exchanging money on the sidewalk*
GF: I think that is muffin business.
GF: Chinese Muffin.
Me: You mean… Mafia?
GF: Yes. That.
GF: This Friday night is my friend’s birthday.
Me: Ah. Umm, is it ok if I stay home?
GF: Of course. You are not invited. They don’t like you.
© My honest chinese girlfriend 2013–2014
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